the Rock

rings1

I work in a small team of which the majority are young women. This gives me a good insight into the world of the yenta. One of the gaggle recently fluttered into the office and began to explain the reasons for her distress in a typically high pitched squawk.

The cause was her boyfriend and his crime was proposing to her with an “ugly engagement ring”. Crucially though, this happened in her dream the night before. She woke up feeling genuine resentment for him (what a great catch). On another occasion amidst Facebook’s stream of nauseating baby and wedding party pictures, was another wall-hitting late 20s manjaw sharing how pleased she was that her boyfriend “finally” proposed to her. Women’s self-entitlement complex knows no bounds.

But the endemic spread of feminine irrationality has infected masculinity to its core when one considers today’s typical marriage proposal in its wider context. Men are by nature more logical, but the strength of toxic feminist ideology together with misty-eyed romanticism has lead most men to drop all rational decision making when it comes to long-term relationships.

Despite the supposedly equalist society we’re meant to be living in, it’s men who are still expected to cough up the customary three months salary for the ring – where’d that rule come from I wonder? And after his wallet’s taken a slamming he’s expected to prostrate himself and ask permission to enter into an abject, sexless world in which he provides, cares and struggles for his depreciating asset while making assurances he’ll give up entirely on his own sexual strategy. Oh, and if he dares touch his wife without her explicit consent he should expect a rape conviction and life on the sex offenders’ register. Some privilege. And all for the princely sum of £27,151 – the average in 2014 spent in the UK for a wedding and engagement ring.

The real problem though is that once that ring is revealed, and the supplication that comes with it, the woman’s hindbrain immediately picks up that she’s his only source of sexuality – and that’s not sexy. The competition anxiety evaporates and that lucid heightened sexual energy that was greasing the dopamine cogs of the relationship dissipates. Her limbic system dries her vagina up faster than a Dyson Airblade. And our prince stares through tears of wasted money and sacrificed dignity at years of sexual withdrawal from a land whale before eventually losing half his hard earned in the anti-male rigged divorce courts.

So think hard before you decide to start a family and spend what could have been useful pounds on a house deposit, kids’ school fees or a trust fund on a libido killing fat licence and wedding instead.

Why ruin a good relationship with marriage?

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